PinkuBentoBox

Yes, it’s actually Tuesday. These things air several hours after midnight on Monday so they actually air on Tuesday in Japan. And since I’m in wonderful Asstralia, It’s 4am or so when they start. So I download them while I’m at work and then watch the following day. Anyway, Monday’s new shit is (was?) threefold: Bamboo Blade, Da Capo II, and Sketchbook ~full color’s~. I have watched all three and I am sure you are dying to hear me tell you all about it! Note that as I write this it is half past ten in the evening and I am mildly drunk. This may have contributed extra enjoyment points.

Fake edit: by the time I actually finished writing this pile of crap it was Wednesday. D:

Bamboo Blade

Bamboo Blade at a glance: Kamina attempts to gather a Kendo harem so he can eat high-quality sushi, and so that we can ogle pretty moe blobs beat each other with sticks.

I am only partially joking.

When I said Kamina, I didn’t actually mean THE Kamina, as in he-died-for-our-sins Kamina. It just happens that the male semi-lead is voiced by Katsuyuki Konishi. So I guess I could equally have made reference to Volfogg, who is at least partially as awesome as Kamina, but you would all go Volwhatnow? because hardly anyone has seen GaoGaiGar despite the fact that it is fucking required viewing. Anyway, the show opens with him driving down the road at a billion miles an hour (CURIOUSLY there is no traffic) while screaming about constructing the Dai Gurren-dan or something. Seriously, it is so fucking wierd hearing his voice on a character who is not a giant robot ninja or armed with the best set of sunglasses ever.

So he’s actually the teacher in charge of Random Animu High School #1571568’s Kendo club. A club which, as it turns out, has only one member. FOR NOW. That member happens to be a cute girl. My Moeometer is only getting around a 6.5 for her, but your mileage may vary. Whatever cooks your noodles I guess. Now, as you all will be quite aware, this is quite a problem. To have a complete harem one needs five girls. It’s like a captain planet thing. Except with less mullets.

Unfortunately for our intrepid Kendo teacher (his name is Ishida or something but that’s a shitty name unbefitting of a true moe warrior (moerrior?) so I will call him Ken-chan from now on) the first new signups are Generic Male Character and his Egg-shaped Sidekick. Akira Ishida is voicing the Eggman, which is highly amusing since I have grown to hate his voice and this character is suitably retarded.

Then things take a turn for the awesome. Tamaki is introduced. The quiet type is not usually one that I go for, but in this case I am making an exception. The reason: Ryou Hirohashi. Her voice is soothing and lovely and relaxing and makes my blood pressure drop. So basically, the show went from suck to… not-suck… in the space of about five seconds. Which is bad because now I’ll have to watch it. Fuck.

Also, it turns out that Egghead has a hot girlfriend. WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO EVERYONE BUT ME? LIFE IS A LEMON AND I WANT MY MONEY BACK. Dammit. Anyway, I needed a retarded moe comedy to watch when Nagasarete Airantou finishes so this might be the ticket. Will perform the time-honoured test of the three episodes in order to fully determine my course of action. At this point I give it 6 flaming ninjas out of ten.

OOPS I MEANT TO POST THIS IMAGE ABOVE SORRY I AM NEW AT THIS INTARWEBS THING

Sketchbook ~full color’S~

More like sketchbook ~fucking punctuation nightmare~ am i rite? Japan, until you have learned rudimentary English fucking grammar, please stop using it. To make a plural, you just add ’s’. Adding ‘’s’ means that something belongs to colour. Also, what the shit is up with that uppercase S? And colour is spelled with a fucking u in it (thanks for fucking up the King’s English, Webster).

Sketchbook at a glance: Valium-addict and her moe artschool friends draw pictures of things.

This is actually really good, as should be evidenced by the fact that all I can complain about is the title. I loved Aria, and this has the same relaxing feeling, though it doesn’t have quite the same feel. Aria is like a cool breeze on a hot summer day. This… well, it isn’t. But what it lacks in relaxation it makes up for by having a bit more humor. It’s almost like a blend of Hidamari Sketch and Aria, though without Akiyuki Shinbo adding in sudden cheesecake shots to remind us that he is a pervert. A brilliant pervert. WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY SZS SUBS?

There are cats, by the way. The main character loves cats. I actually get the impression that the animation team might possibly like cats too. And you know what the best part of a cat is? That’s right, the paws. She loves the cat paw. I am told it feels like ear skin. NOTE THIS IS A REFERENCE TO AN ANIME THAT I AM NOT GOING TO ADMIT THAT I WATCHED. Anyway, you know what cat appears towards the end?

That’s right. President Aria. BUNYUU~, bitches! Also of note: Yui Makino in the cast. Heart.

Da CrapoCapo II

At a glance: Boy has harem of moe blobs who all want him but he will probably end up fucking his sister instead.

One of my horrible secrets is that I’ve actually watched all of Da Capo. And despite myself, I actually enjoyed bits of it. Didn’t finish DC S.S. though, mainly because I was so annoyed that they faked out that Nemu had been smushed into the grill of a semi (a joyous occasion) and it turned out that it hadn’t happened and she was back to being a manipulative, annoying bitch. What Junichi saw in her I’ll never know, especially when Kotori was constantly moistening her panties for him whenever he got within a kilometer.

But I digress. DC II is a sequel to Da Capo. It’s set many years later. Like, 60 or so. I can’t be assed looking it up on teh wikipedias. Anyway, I don’t know where they live but it must be Japan’s equivalent of Tasmania because apparently sister-fucking is common. Apparently Junichi had kids. With Nemu. Who was his sister. Except she wasn’t really his sister so it’s okay! That’s the best type of sister-fucking. Or so I’m told. Personally the concept makes me throw up in my mouth a little. I think that Genshiken said it best: people with a little sister fetish don’t have a little sister.

And speaking of sister-fucking, what’s better than fucking your sister? Why, fucking your sisters. As in plural. As in there’s two of them. NemuYume and Otome Asakura. Yume is the younger sister and Otome is the older one. Given the way this series has panned out before, expect one or both of them to fall madly in love with him. Hopefully they won’t be obsessive manipulative and annoying bitches like Nemu. Nemu killed Da Crapo for me. Note: the ultimate answer is clearly for Yume and Otome to dump their ‘brother’ for each other, but unfortunately this will never happen. Anyway, I have to say I quite like their character designs. Yes, Asakura is their last name. Yes, Asakura was Junichi’s last name. Yes, they’re the granddaughters of Nemu and Junichi. D:

So anyway, the cast also includes KotoriNanaka Shirakawa. I bet that she gets the shaft in this one too, despite that she will turn out to clearly be the best choice. And by shaft I mean in the metaphorical sense, not the physical. Though I’m sure you could introduce her to the shaft in the game if you know what I mean and I think you do. Apparently she reads minds, like Kotori could. Which is a freaky as fuck proposition because your answer to the ‘does this dress make me look fat’ question is wrong BEFORE YOU EVEN SAY ANYTHING. Horror.

The harem is incomplete without the Childhood Friend! Koko is kind of cute I guess. When I look at her I can’t help but see Makoto from Touka Gettan. That girl had her priorities straight. And by priorities I mean Momoka. And by straight I mean would be quite at home living on Lesbos island. Anyway, I bet you looked at her orange hair and thought “why didn’t you put Miharu” before her name? And the answer is that they fucking faked us out and Koko has nothing to do with Miharu and it’s actually a completely different character that is really a robot girl! Mind = blown.

Finally (at this point) there’s SakuraSakura. As in the same girl from the first show. The one who constantly told Junichi not to fuck Nemu because she was his sister. Which only served to encourage him. I am firmly convinced that something in him was fundamentally broken. But maybe that’s because I have a sister. Anyway, she seems to have only aged a few years (I bet this is a PLOT POINT) and lives in the school. Also she has a giant set of ominous stairs in her cupboard. Yeah. She also can’t make up her mind if she wants to have twintails or not. FUCKING COMMIT TO ONE OR THE OTHER, DAMMIT.

Anyway, generic moe shit. You should know exactly what to expect if you’ve seen Da Crapo. I say I won’t be watching this but I know that a few weeks from now I’ll be downloading subs for it anyway. I am weak.