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Yeah, I know, I know, Godzilla isn’t exactly animu and this is a mostly animu-oriented blog. However, Godzilla is, without a doubt, one of the most recognisable figures in Japanese cinema history, and I’m not ashamed to say I have a bit of a personal attachment to the Big Guy. I’ve been a die-hard fan as far back as I can remember; hell, my earliest conscious memory is of me watching Godzilla vs. Gigan and Godzilla 1985 back when I was two years old! And 2004’s Godzilla: Final Wars is something of a landmark film for the series, which now spans more than two-dozen total flicks ranging from awful (Godzilla vs. Megalon, anybody?) to damn-near artistic masterwork (Godzilla vs. Mothra ‘64). Y’see, 2004 marks the 50th anniversary of Godzilla, and to celebrate, Toho pulled out all the stops in making the biggest, flashiest, most spectacular Godzilla movie they possibly could. Or at least that was the intent. It’s also, as far as Toho’s saying now (and they’ve said it about five other times before, so…), the final Godzilla movie ever. So, did Toho accomplish what they set out to do, in giving the Big Guy his ultimate send-off? Well, yes & no.

In terms of story this movie ends up being a combined remake of two previous Godzilla films: 1965’s Godzilla vs. Monster Zero and 1968’s Destroy All Monsters. The difference here, is that there’s an added human element to this one that ends up being both a necessity as one of the only things holding the plot together, and a hindrance in reducing the amount of screentime that gets alotted to the star attractions of the film, the monsters and the mindless destruction they bring. Those familiar with the aforementioned movies will be pretty familiar with the setup here. With the increase in monster attacks all over the world, as well as the occurrence of mutated humans, the UN organises a special taskforce of mutant fighters to combat these enormous creatures. However, during one attack, the mutant taskforce finds itself overwhelmed by a massive, worldwide swarm of monsters attacking major cities simultaneously. They are saved, ultimately, by the sudden appearance of an alien race hailing from the mysterious Planet X, who miraculously make all the monsters vanish into thin air at once. The X’ians claim to come in peace, and are hailed as heroes. The movie’s protagonists, mutant soldier Shinichi Ozaki (played by Masahiro Matsuoka), molecular biologist Miyuki Otonashi (Rei Kikukawa), news reporter and Miyuki’s elder sister Anna Otonashi (Maki Mizuno), and Ozaki’s rival within the mutant ranks, Katsunori Kazama (Kane Kosugi) smell a rat, however, and eventually manage to expose the X’ians on worldwide television as not only plotting against humanity, but controlling the monsters the entire time. The X’ian leader (played masterfully by Kazuki Kitamura) then reveals his plans openly and commands his forces (monsters included) to attack the human world all at once to make way for the domestication of man as livestock. They claim victory almost instantaneously, as the X’ian leader manages to psychically take control of the only military force that could oppose him, the mutants themselves.

However, Ozaki was somehow unaffected by the X’ian leader, and manages to reassemble the crew of the mutant taskforce’s flagship Gotengo for one final strike. Key among the crew is captain Douglas Gordon, portrayed by shootfighting legend Don Frye. When debating how to combat the overwhelming strength of the X’ians, it is Gordon who makes the bold decision to unleash Godzilla, who had been subdued and encased in a glacier decades ago during Gotengo’s maiden voyage. The plan goes that while Godzilla deals with the other monsters, they attack the X’ian base, and once the mothership is downed, they recapture Godzilla before he destroys humanity himself. They follow through with this plan, and ultimately claim victory, Ozaki unleashing the powers of a Kaiser—a mutant/human hybrid—to kill the X’ian leader, while Godzilla, having defeated all the monsters of Earth, then fights and destroys the X’ians’ own champion monster, Kaiser Ghidorah. As Godzilla is about to turn on the now-crippled Gotengo and claim revenge for his former imprisonment, he is stopped by the sudden appearance of his son, Minya, and relents to harmlessly marching off into the sunrise.

Godzilla: Final Wars is an interesting film to critique. Directed by Ryuhei Kitamura, with a screenplay by Kitamura and Isao Kiriyama, it was meant to be the ultimate Godzilla movie. All the stops pulled out, the budget pushed to its limit, and the most monsters and monster fights ever seen in any one Godzilla movie. In that respect, it succeeded. However, to analyse this movie in terms of competent storytelling, character development, production values, etc. is something of a regrettable nightmare. This is no Citizen Kane; in fact it could very well be the antithesis of a well-produced movie. The plot is barely cohesive, the acting is over-the-top utter camp, and the special effects are only slightly less cheesy than prior Godzilla efforts. Expect proper filmmaking and you will hate this movie with a passion. However, come into it with the mindset of the intended audience, of long-time Godzilla fans looking for one final fight-fest between Godzilla and his greatest enemies & allies from across every generation of the series, and you will…at least mostly adore it. It’s a fan-wank movie, pure & simple, with this relatively shoddy story of mutants and aliens thrown in just to provide some continuity and throw in a few other non-monster elements from Godzilla’s past (after all, maser tanks, Planet X, & flying anti-monster weapons like Gotengo are as much a part of the Godzilla canon as Rodan & Mothra).

So, just how is the monster combat, if it’s supposed to be the primary focus of this movie? For the most part, it’s pretty damn good. The film sports a stunning fourteen monsters from Godzilla’s career, a diverse collection that anyone familiar with the series can appreciate. The giant spider & mantis Kumonga & Kamakiras, the smog monster Hedorah, and giant lobster Ebirah, the sea dragon Manda, Japanese dog-lion thingy King Seesar, Godzilla’s son Minya, and the triumphant return of long-absent fan-favourites Angilas, Rodan, & Gigan after several decades, along with the added bonus of Godzilla facing down his Columbia Tri-Star, Matthew Broderick, American counterpart (dubbed “Zilla” here) over Sydney’s opera house marks just the start, with the cast of titans capped off by Mothra, Godzilla obviously, and the greatest enemy Godzilla’s ever faced, King Ghidorah (presented here incognito as the mysterious Monster X, then as the dramatically re-designed “Kaiser” Ghidorah). Each monster gets a turn at Godzilla (save for Mothra & Minya, who are presnted on Godzilla’s side in this outing), and each one is promptly disposed of in classic Godzilla fashion. In a way, these fights each demonstrate a separate piece of the Big Guy’s film history, too. The battle with Ghidorah is fairly dramatic, possibly representing the more serious tone of Godzilla’s later films, while his four-way showdown with Final Wars’ Bonkler trio—Rodan, Angilas, & King Seesar—is done with all the comedic camp of his late 60s and 70s outings.

Really, the only complaints I can see with this aspect of the film are that with Godzilla facing down so many foes, the fights are a wee too short and one-sided. This probably has something to do with the mutants’ & X’ians’ exposition and plot establishment taking up half the movie, which was a horrible move, in my opinion, that took away too much time from Godzilla in his own movie. And the final showdown between Godzilla & Mothra and Kaiser Ghidorah & Gigan is particularly cut down by the excessive attention payed to Ozaki’s craptastic duel with the X’ian leader. More attention should’ve been given to Godzilla and his final fight, seeing as this is Godzilla in his Final War, after all. And personally, I would’ve liked to have seen something similar to Cloud fighting Bahamut in Advent Children, where all of Cloud’s friends stepped in to offer an extremely futile helping hand before Cloud took care of things himself. Only here, you’d have Mothra, as well as Rodan, Angilas, & King Seesar (the only three to survive a fight with Godzilla) jumping in to give Godzilla a helping hand against the all-powerful Ghidorah. Cheesy? Yes. But then, what in this movie isn’t? Also, these four are undeniably the greatest allies Godzilla’s ever had across all previous films, so having them jump in at the last minute to help out would’ve been a nice homage to the past, y’know? Also, Mothra needed a better part, having only defeated Gigan after Gigan sliced his own head off accidentally (yeah, he needed a better part, too) and Mothra simply fireball kamikaze’d him.

And while the human acting in the film is pretty unremarkable, mostly being standard subpar fare typical of the Godzilla series, I feel a special nod should be payed to Don Frye and Kazumi Kitamura. Frye actually surprised me a great deal. For one thing, I wasn’t expecting him to have as big a role as he did, and secondly, I honestly didn’t expect a UFC fighter to have those kind of acting skills. I’m not saying he was Oscar-calibre, but he managed to portray enough of the stereotypical wisecracking, badass American character to get my attention. He played his part well enough, and it got more than a couple honest laughs out of me (not for sucking, that came from other characters :P). And Kitamura’s portrayal of the X’ian leader was just plain AWESOME. While basically looking like a generic visual kei singer, he managed to pull off a surprisingly effective sleazeball of a villain. And even moreso, he managed to perfectly land his character’s rather indignant side. The temper tantrums he pitches whenever Godzilla defeats another foe are absolute gold, and his reaction when Ozaki finally gets the upper hand in their final fight was beyond priceless. While the rest of the cast was pretty unremarkable, these two went really above & beyond, and actually made the dull human bits all the more tolerable.

All in all, Godzilla: Final Wars certainly won’t appeal to everyone. Mechanically it’s a flaming failure and as a Godzilla film it still has plenty of others that place well above it. However, as one last hurrah for the Big Guy, and as a big, two-hour piece of fan service, it succeeds bigtime. If you’re a Godzilla fan, you’ll love this movie and forgive it ten times over for its flaws. Otherwise, it might make your sense of taste in movies want to jump from a ten-story building. It’s mindless, campy fun, and should not, under any circumstances, be taken as anything more. Just pop some popcorn, turn off your brain, and get ready for some great giant monster action.